Burnout to balance: Learning to value rest with a Neurodiverse brain

After writing recently about how I see effectiveness as more valuable than productivity, I’ve been thinking about the other side of the same coin: rest.

For those of us with AuDHD—or anyone with a busy brain—rest can feel like a contradiction. My head is rarely still. It’s constantly whirring, scanning, problem-solving, jumping from idea to idea. From the outside, that can look like energy and productivity. But in reality, if I don’t put the brakes on, it’s a straight line to burnout. I know this because I crashed hard last year, and it took months to crawl back.

Slow, stubborn learning

What I’ve had to learn — slowly and stubbornly — is that quiet moments aren’t indulgent. They’re essential. Protecting them, building them into the day, and treating them with as much value as a client meeting or a deadline is the only way I stay functional.

Effectiveness isn’t just about what you achieve. It’s also about when you don’t. Those quiet moments are the spaces where everything resets. They’re the reason the song works.

The best way I’ve found to describe it is through music. In fact, this is the second time I’m going to refer to Radiohead in terms of my neurodiversity, how I understand it, and how it helps me cope. In Radiohead’s How to Disappear Completely, there’s a point where the song swells with sweeping strings, building and building with intensity… and then it subsides into a soft, weightless calm.

That contrast was a welcome realisation when I was recovering. It reminded me that calm isn’t the absence of energy—it’s what gives the energy its meaning. Without it, the whole piece just collapses under its own weight. (This reminds me of something I regularly remind clients and collaborators: if everything is high priority, nothing is high priority).

The song itself comes from a place of struggle. Thom Yorke wrote it while dealing with anxiety, after asking Michael Stipe from R.E.M. for advice. Stipe’s suggestion was simple: repeat the words “I’m not here, this isn’t happening.” That mantra of dissociation became the seed of the song—and for me, it’s a reminder that finding calm often requires creating some distance from the chaos of your own mind.

The Challenge of Rest with AuDHD

Here’s the thing though: with AuDHD, you can’t always just “schedule rest” and expect it to work. I’ve tried putting breaks into my calendar, but sometimes my brain either ignores them, or I spend the time berating myself for not using it “productively.” For many of us, the idea of switching off on command is impossible.

That’s why I’ve reframed how I think about rest. Instead of demanding that I sit still at specific times, I look for ways to protect calm moments when they naturally appear. That might be:

• Letting myself sit in silence in the car before walking into a meeting.
• Taking an unplanned walk if my head feels crowded.
• Listening to a single piece of music without multitasking.
• Allowing 10 minutes of inaction after finishing a big task before starting the next.

It’s less about rigid scheduling, more about recognising opportunities to pause and giving myself permission to take them.

Reasonable Adjustments at Work

The reality is that rest shouldn’t just be a personal responsibility—it should be supported structurally too. Under the Equality Act 2010, autism and ADHD can both be classed as disabilities if they have a substantial impact on day-to-day life, meaning employers have a duty to make reasonable adjustments.

For me, that’s meant advocating for things like:

Flexible breaks, rather than being tied to one set lunch hour. Quiet spaces or working from home when sensory overwhelm hits. Meeting-free time, so my day isn’t just constant noise. Understanding around pacing, so bursts of effectiveness are balanced with recovery time. These aren’t about lowering expectations. They’re about creating an environment where people like me can be effective without falling apart. Protecting the quiet isn’t a luxury—it’s what makes long-term contribution possible.

Effectiveness isn’t just about what you achieve. It’s also about when you don’t. Those quiet moments are the spaces where everything resets. They’re the reason the song works.